Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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