You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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