I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
