I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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