OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize