Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
