Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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