Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
