i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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