Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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