Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
organizing the empties. That sober.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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