We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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