he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize