it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Damn victory sex feels great
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
