Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
