i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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