I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
