who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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