Can i not drive my cunt home
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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