based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
