Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
