literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
