I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
