1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
