my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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