12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
