..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
