I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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