just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
