I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
