i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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