I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
