Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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