yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize