i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
