Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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