I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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