he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize