Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
