She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
