I puked a lego.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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