I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it glows. i had to have it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
