hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
