half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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