I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
