I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
