That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
