Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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