No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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