well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
