So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
