I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So apparently I’m into choking now
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
