Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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