____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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