i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
