if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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