His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize