Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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