she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
