Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize