It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
