dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
