You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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