I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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