i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
