I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
