So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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