Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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