I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
