You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
