dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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