D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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