my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
