This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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