just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
